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Mentor Text referral: Bedtime Books

8/2/2022

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​Goodnight Moon. Time for Bed. The Going to Bed Book.  Who doesn’t love a good bedtime story?

With soothing language and a soft cadence, bedtime books can be a great genre choice if you’re a children’s authors who enjoys writing rhyming and lyrical picture books. You can even mimic the rhythm of a traditional lullaby like “Hush, Little Baby” or “Rock-A-Bye Baby” to build your book around a set structure.
​Sounds dreamy, doesn’t it? But before you snuggle up to write your own bedtime book, consider this. There are MANY bedtime books on the market. In order for your book to stand out, it needs to be about more than just settling in for bed. You need a fresh angle. An intriguing, kid-friendly topic to weave into the fabric of your bedtime quilt. For example…
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​…growing a garden, like in Goodnight Veggies by Diana Murray, illustrated by Zachariah Ohora.
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​…using your imagination as a stall tactic, like in Bedtime for Sweet Creatures, by Nikki Grimes, illustrated by Elizabeth Zunon.
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​​…or introducing kids to different branches of science, like in Dream Big, Little Scientists written by yours truly, illustrated by Alice Potter.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the strategies I use in Dream Big, Little Scientists to provide a unique take on bedtime.
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I balance bed-time-focused language with tangible science words. The illustrations then dig deeper into specific scientific elements.
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For example, in this spread focused on geology, I use the kid-friendly geology-related words mountain and earth and the bed-time words quilts and snuggle. The illustration shows more about what geologists study and introduces a famous modern-day geologist, Jess Phoenix. 

As you consider your own bedtime book topic, think about how your illustrations can add layers of information to your topic.  ​
I rely on assonance to create a gentle lullaby tone. (See this Rhyme Doctor’s Post for more information on how to use assonance to enhance the read-aloud quality of your picture book.)




​Breath in deep, then let it out
And feel your heartbeat slow.
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​I use back matter to further strengthen the science angle of the book.
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I challenge you to DREAM BIG and try writing your own bedtime book. Just don’t forget to give it a fresh twist!

Rhyme Doctor Michelle Schaub
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POETRY PRESCRIPTION: METAPHOR

7/19/2022

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​It’s time for another blog post about the use of poetic devices in picture book writing.

​“Poetic devices are tools used to create rhythm, enhance meaning, and intensify mood using a variety of writing strategies.” (Shared from Linsey Betts and Kara Wilson at Study.com) 
​Today, we’ll take a look at the poetic device: Metaphor
 
A metaphor suggests a comparison but isn’t directly stating one. (See Simile post next month, which is a direct comparison.) Instead, it describes an object as though it is something else. Its effect is to:
  • make something unfamiliar more familiar
  • help the reader create a better visual image
 
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​Rhyme Doctor Patricia Toht uses metaphor to advantage in her poetry collection ALL ABOARD THE LONDON BUS (Illustrated by Sam Usher).

I admire her inventive and beautiful use of metaphor in “The London Eye” poem describing this massive observation wheel and comparing it to a glittering charm bracelet. Using a metaphor can also free up the artist, giving that individual wider latitude for the illustrations!
A bracelet that hangs off the arm of the Thames,
its pods, filled with people, all dangle like gems. . . .

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In HAPPY SLOTH DAY! by the late writer and photographer April Pulley Sayre and her husband Jeff Sayre, you’ll enjoy this wonderful metaphor:
 
A mommy hammock climbs.
Furry arms hold her tight.

(photograph of a baby sloth clinging to its mother as she climbs.)
 
Here, the authors indirectly relate mommy as a cozy hammock for her baby sloth. 
The metaphors I shared are images of a glittering charm bracelet and a cozy hammock.

​Do you have an object that could be better explained using a metaphor? Do you want to convey a certain tone by comparing the object to something with a positive or negative connotation?


​Poetic devices are a great tool in your writer’s toolbox. I’ll see you back here next month.
Happy writing!
 
by Eileen Meyer, Rhyme Doctor

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MENTOR TEXT REFERRAL...BEARPLANE

7/7/2022

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I've long been a fan of Deborah Underwood's books. She has written/co-written
36 fiction books and 28 nonfiction books for children.

Among her many titles are lovely, lyrical picture books:
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And these rhyming fractured fairytales, too:
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When I spotted her new book, BEARPLANE, illustrated by Sam Wedelich, and I learned it was written in rhyme, I had to have it!
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Below is a list of wonderful things I discovered while reading BEARPLANE:

1) I love BEARPLANE's clever title. Deborah Underwood took a familiar compound word - airplane - and replaced part of it with a rhyming word to create something new - bearplane - which serves as the inspiration for the fun that follows. This is a trick that I'd like to try myself!

2) BEARPLANE is written in second person, addressing the cub as "you." This invites the reader to identify more closely with the cub, and it also allows the cub to be seen as any gender.
3) The text is sprinkled with lots of bear-related words. Deborah Underwood jumps in with the opening couplet:

Wake up, cub! We can't be late!
It's no time to hibernate.


The bears "weave through maze of bags and fur," spy a food court full of fish, and drink cups of honey, among other things. 
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4) An additional story plays out in the illustrations. A grumpy gentlebear (easy to spot in his green fedora) is flying, too. He has difficulties along the way - a stubbed toe, suitcase malfunctions, etc. A slight tension builds when the cub is the source of several problems. But in the end, the cub's generosity and friendliness win him over.
5) The rhymes in the book are spot on, and the meter is consistently smooth, which makes the book a terrific read aloud. A rhyme that made me laugh falls on one of my favorite spreads:

Time to board --
let's show our passes!
"Sir, you'll need to
check those basses."
​
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On my first read-through, I mispronounced the word "basses" using a long A vowel and wondered why Deborah Underwood (and her editor) would find this non-rhyme acceptable. Then I saw the fish in the bear's arms and laughed at this brilliant choice!

6) The ending extends the story beyond the bearport and bearplane ride. The bear pair's final destination is a family reunion, which adds depth to the story and is sweetly satisfying.

I recommend you check this one out! Read it bearfully, and see which techniques you might use in your own picture book.

​~Patricia Toht
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poetry prescription: assonance

6/21/2022

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​I’m back with my series of blog posts about the use of poetic devices in picture book writing.

“Poetic devices are tools used to create rhythm, enhance meaning, and intensify mood using a variety of writing strategies.” (Shared from Linsey Betts and Kara Wilson at Study.com) We employ poetic devices to enhance our written work and create a deeper connection to the piece for our reader.
 
Today, we’ll take a look at a poetic device: Assonance
 
Assonance is a repetition of vowel sounds within words and phrases. It
  • heightens the relationship between the words
  • adds a musical quality
  • captures a certain mood through sound
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​Fellow Rhyme Doctor Michelle Schaub employs assonance effectively in her bedtime book, DREAM BIG, LITTLE SCIENTISTS (Illustrated by Alice Potter). Take a look at how beautifully she enhances the mood by repeating the soft “u” sound in this lovely line from her picture book to create a lullaby effect:
 
Under rumpled mountain quilts, the earth is snuggled tight.

Reminder: It's key to repeat the same vowel sound - here a soft "u" sound. A hard "u" sound as found in the word "unicorn" would not work. 
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​Rhyme Doctor Patricia Toht uses assonance to advantage in her poetry collection, ALL ABOARD THE LONDON BUS (Illustrated by Sam Usher). Review this energetic and lively line in the poem, “Changing of the Guard.”
 
I can hear a rum-pum-pum—steady thumping of a drum,
 
The repeated soft “u” sound (and also repeating the consonant “m” in each occurrence) enhances our reading experience. We hear the drumbeat, and it makes us feel that we, too, are watching and hearing the ceremonial changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.
In the poem “Best Lumberjack” from my poetry collection THE SUPERLATIVE A. LINCOLN: POEMS ABOUT OUR 16TH PRESIDENT (illustrated by Dave Szalay) I also used this poetic device. Notice the long "a" sound repeated in the words blade, underpaid, Abe and labor in this limerick. You can sense his hard labor with the repeated heavier long "a" sounds that sound weighty as they are read aloud.

​As he toiled to fell a great tree,
his talent was something to see.
With each swing of the blade,
he was far underpaid,
for young Abe did the labor of three!
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​Are there ways that you might be able to employ assonance in your current poem or picture book draft?

​Use your writer’s toolbox to enhance your written work and create a deeper connection for the reader. I’ll be back with more tips next month.
Happy writing!
 
by Eileen Meyer, Rhyme Doctor
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Mentor text referral: Terse Rhyme in Walrus song

6/7/2022

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Writing in terse rhyme is a great way to energize your picture book manuscript!
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I first discovered terse rhyme when I read AN ISLAND GROWS, by Lola M. Schaefer, illustrated by Cathie Felstead, (Greenwillow Books, 2006.) In AN ISLAND GROWS, Schaefer charts the formation of an island from the first bubbling of magma on the ocean floor. Why is this story considered terse rhyme? Because Schaefer writes in very short rhyming lines. Most of her lines are comprised of two words, one noun and one verb.

​Deep, deep
beneath the sea…
Stone breaks.
Water quakes
Magma glows.
Volcano blows.

Why try terse rhyme?

​If you’ve been working on a picture book manuscript that seem text heavy and lacking energy, consider rewriting it in terse rhyme. Terse rhyme forces writers to distill their stories to the most important elements. What are the essential nouns, verbs, and adjectives? Short, crisp lines create an upbeat cadence. With the focus on verbs, terse rhyme lends itself especially well to topics that involve many actions… like an island forming… or...
a walrus surviving in the Arctic!
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WALRUS SONG by Janet Lawler, illustrated by Timothy Basil Ering,(Candlewick Press, 2021) is an excellent mentor text for terse rhyme. In WALRUS SONG, Lawler explores the wonders of this cumbersome sea mammal.
 
​Let’s look at how Lawler constructs the lines in WALRUS SONG. Here’s an excerpt from the middle of the book:
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​Waddle. Walk.

Slap! Slap!
Walrus lumbers.
Flippers flap.
​(Notice the vibrant, specific verbs. This focus on verbs really showcases the fascinating (and often funny) behaviors of walruses.)
Lawler also uses short lines infuse the text with energy and motion.
​

Walrus fight,
Blubbered might,
Clashing, crashing,
Tusks a-bashing.
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With terse rhyme, since there are fewer words on the page, it’s even more important that every word count. In the previous lines, notice how Lawler uses alliteration ("blubbered, bashing";  "clashing, crashing) and assonance ("walrus, blubber, tusks"; “fight, might “clashing, crashing, bashing.") Lawler chooses words whose sounds echo the intensity of male walruses sparring.  Every word is percussive and engaging.
​Besides the masterful use of terse rhyme, other elements make WALRUS SONG a great mentor text. Lawler provides engaging nonfiction back matter to support each spread. Also, the story begins with a question “Where is walrus?” and ends with a question “What will his tomorrow be?” This is a great example of “bookending” a story.
​Sink your tusks into WALRUS SONG and get a feel for terse rhyme. Then try it out on your own picture book manuscript. It may provide just the vibe your story needs!
-Rhyme Doctor Michelle Schaub
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POETRY PRESCRIPTION: ANAPHORA

5/17/2022

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​I’m delighted to begin a series of blog posts about the use of poetic devices in picture book writing.
​
What exactly are poetic devices?

​“Poetic devices are tools used to create rhythm, enhance meaning, and intensify mood using a variety of writing strategies.” (Shared from Linsey Betts and Kara Wilson at Study.com) We employ these tools to enhance our written work and create a deeper connection to the piece for our reader.
Today, we’ll take a closer look at a poetic device: Anaphora
Anaphora is the repetition of a word or set of words at the beginning of successive phrases, clauses, or lines. It:
  • has a sonic or audible effect
  • creates a rhythm
  • intensifies emotion
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​In the poem “Least Favorite Nickname” from my poetry collection THE SUPERLATIVE A. LINCOLN: POEMS ABOUT OUR 16TH PRESIDENT (Illustrated by Dave Szalay) I used this poetic device. The poem is about Lincoln’s dislike of his childhood nickname “Abe” and emphasizes the fact that he really preferred other forms of address, such as Lincoln or Mr. Lincoln. To play up this point, I repeated the phrase “call him,” creating a distinct rhythm and also heightening the emotion about this phrasing for the reader.
 
Call him Mr. President, the leader of our states.
Call him a great orator, well known for his debates.
Call him neighbor, father, son—all labels he could claim.
Know that when folks called him Abe, he didn’t like that name.

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​For an example of anaphora in a prose selection, take a look at Pat Zeitlow Miller’s awarding winning picture book, SOPHIE’S SQUASH (Illustrated by Anne Wilsdorf).  She tells the story of a little girl who brings a squash home from the farmer’s market. Instead of allowing mom to use it in the family’s dinner that night, the girl gives the squash a name—Bernice—and it becomes her constant companion. Pat employs anaphora very effectively in phrasing to open the story.
 
One bright fall day, Sophie chose a squash at the farmer’s market.
Her parents planned to serve it for supper, but Sophie had other ideas.
It was
just the right size to hold in her arms.
Just the right size to bounce on her knee.
Just the right size to love.
 
Pat’s use of anaphora to open her book helps us feel the intensity of the little girl’s love for the squash more deeply and better understand the emotional connection. The reader forms a stronger bond with Bernice, too. 
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Are there ways that you can employ anaphora in your current poem or picture book draft?

​Poetic devices are a great tool in your writer’s toolbox. I look forward to sharing more of these useful poetic devices every few weeks.
Happy writing!
 
by Eileen Meyer, Rhyme Doctor
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MENTOR TEXT REFERRALS: PICTURE BOOK PARODIES

5/3/2022

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Parodies are fun! Check out this musical parody by author Sue Fliess:

A parody is "an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect" (Oxford Dictionary). Have you read any picture book parodies? Some are "adult" versions of popular classics, such as GOODNIGHT IPAD. But you'll also find parodies of fairytales, folktales, and nursery rhymes aimed at young audiences.

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If you like writing in rhyme, it's an enjoyable exercise to try a parody. Your version doesn't need to be overly comic; picture book parodies often bring smiles with clever twists or use of language. Many picture book parodies have been picked up for publication and can be especially popular as read-alouds.

Let's take a look at the nursery rhyme Mary Had a Little Lamb. It starts off with a very clear meter, alternating stressed and unstressed syllables:

MA-ry HAD a LIT-tle LAMB
whose FLEECE was WHITE as SNOW
and EV-(e)ry-WHERE that MA-ry WENT
the LAMB was SURE to GO.


The roadmap for rhythm is there for you to follow as you adapt the storyline. Sticking to the meter helps keep the reader grounded in the original rhyme.

These three picture book parodies of Mary Had a Little Lamb set up a new situation for Mary, and then address the question, "What could possibly go wrong here?"

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MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMP by Jack Lechner and Bob Staake immediately brings in humor when the opening spread swaps out Mary's loyal lamb for a desk lamp.

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The next two spreads give small, specific details that explain Mary's love for her lamp. The author then returns to the original nursery rhyme, as Mary takes the lamp to school with disastrous results. Humor builds as her worried parents seek professional help:

Their doctor said, "I've never seen
So puzzling a condition.
But lamps are not my specialty--
You need an electrician."


(Spare use of unusual vocabulary words can be a big hit with kids because it makes them feel smart!)

Things change when Mary heads off to camp, and the lamp stays behind. She discovers the freedom of being untethered, and returns a changed person...or so we think. When I read this to kids, the twist on the last page brought a burst of laughter.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAB by Sue Fliess and Petros Bouloubasis gives a STEM twist to the original. Mary loves her science lab and spends all her time there. But that leaves her without friends. To ease her loneliness, she creates a machine to make herself a pet -- a wooly sheep:

She made an apparatus
with pulleys, knobs, and gears.
Then set the switches, pipes, and springs,
and covered both her ears.


Mary takes her pet to school, and the other students want one, too. But the "Sheepinator" jams and the town is overrun with sheep. The kids work together to fix the machine and mount it on wheels -- which cleverly allows the parody to continue:

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The kids gain control, and the book ends with them creating items with sheep fleece.

MARY HAD A LITTLE GLAM by Tammi Sauer and Vanessa Brantley-Newton substitutes Mary's original possession (lamb) with a new characteristic for Mary -- glam! Fashionista Mary heads to school:

Then Mary click-clacked down the block
in frilly formal wear.
And by the time she got to school
she'd added extra flair.


(Note the great alliteration in that stanza!

And here's a bit of Tammi Sauer's talent with internal rhyme and assonance:

Now story time had
gowns and crowns
and mounds of striped chiffon.
)


Mary spreads her style tips to students and staff. What could go wrong here? Recess! Mary and her friends learn that "...sometimes less is more!"

This parody has slightly fewer lines that mirror the original rhyme, but illustrations bring in other nursery rhyme characters as a reminder of Mary's origins:

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Note Vanessa Brantley-Newton's addition of the school name to support the nursery rhyme setting.
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Kids familiar with nursery rhymes will recognize these character names.


​Try writing your own parody, and take a bit of time to study what other authors have done. You're likely to pick up some tips and have a good giggle, too!

***Winners of our Rhyme Doctors giveaway are Amy Houts, Kendra Israel, and Kathleen Bottagaro.  Congratulations! Books are on their way!***

​~Rhyme Doctor Patricia Toht

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    ​THE RHYME DOCTORS!

    We're expert picture book authors. We love providing critiques of rhyming and lyrical picture books. In this blog, we share poetry prescriptions and mentor text referrals to help you get your manuscript in tip-top shape! 

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